A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
Why are you gay? Because I said so!
Why couldn't the toilet paper roll down the road?
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.
If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.
Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.
Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.
Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
