Really Jokes

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

Yesterday I was fucking my sister and she said' you fuck a lot like dad I said "really mum said that too."

he's not really dead, his update failed

A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.

Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today" and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron". Then the first atom said "How Ionic"

Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say forgive and forget. They are really obedient.

my pencil sharpener when i bleed: aAnd i dont really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

“I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in awhile, but you’re really abusing that privilege.”

This is really mean... A man put a blind man in a circular room and said ur dinners in the corner

So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

A DEPRESSED GUY WALKS INTO A BAR AND SAYS "CAN I GET SHOT".THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "YOU MEAN CAN YOU GET A SHOT RIGHT?THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "WELL..........WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE?THE DEPRESSED THEN RESPONDS WITH A "NO I REALLY WANT TO GET SHOT.

Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes