"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
Real Jokes
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
The cycle of Pionel Pessi:
- Ghosting👻
- Diving🐬
- Complaining to teammates😡
- Complaining to refs🤬
- Missing sitters🤦♂️
- Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️
- Proceed to get 🐐 shouts
- Repeat🔁
People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭
Russia—the real joke.
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
