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Ran

Ran jokes

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.

Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

Me: Let's go to Randy's.

Friend: There's no Randy's.

Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

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    • A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

    A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.

    Can't anyone relate to this? BEAT WATERSHARKY!!! -Oops!-By- Air Attack Productions and Yung Gravy-Ayy, supercalifragilisticexpiali dope shit Supercalifragi lick my ex be on some ho shit Superman, I get dem bands but ain't gon' buy you roses Super-duper get them cougars, took my wrist and froze it Super-duper hoes Y'all got Oompa Loompa hoes I ain't never knew ya hoes Prolly still ran through 'em, though.

    Oh, wait, wait, I, I do know your ho? You talkin' 'bout, you talkin' 'bout Tracy? Nah, you mean like, like, Tracy with the ass? Tracy with the, with the Honda? Shit, well.

    Oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby. Yeah, I said oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby.

    Lil' bitch, I'm happy and I know it so I clap them fuckin' cheeks, yeah I'm happy and I show it to your momma in the sheets And I'm happy she's a freak ho, happy so my teeth glow Yeah, my bitch elite, I be clapping every week My neck, my back, got your momma on my sack My checks, my racks, it's the return of the motherfuckin' mack And I stay with the pack, though. Clap, clap, then I'm out the backdoor. Lil' Pillsbury, I stack dough. Walkin' with a limp, like a crack ho.

    Yeah, I said oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the Coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby. Yeah, I said oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the Coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby.

    Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."

    Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

    I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!