Race Jokes

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly"

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.

And they're off.

Why do cheetah always win the race because he cheats duh

what is simular between hitler and trump they both want to keep races out

2 Asian people have a black baby

someting wong

Adam and eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?" Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." so adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?" God says, " You are what you are." Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

what did hitler and usain bolt have in common? they both finished the races

The fries were the slowest in the race and they said "We need to ketchup to the tomato"

My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes... ...I told him to lighten up.

I told a kid in a wheelchair use your nitro boosts

Who would win in a race? Stephen hawking or a turtle. The turtle cause it can walk.

A Chinese couple had a black baby and named him Sum Ting Wong.

I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats the other one says “ your such a Cheetah!” Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitches forehead https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski

why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always un the back ( if you know what i mean) :}

Run bestie run!!!!

Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)