Queen jokes
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
This joke is unavailable due to the National Period of Mourning. Please return to this page on the 19th of September.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they're missing two towers.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
I鈥檓 doin' your mom. Yes yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers.
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.
I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.
I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn鈥檛 start.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I鈥檓 a little young
To be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
Why can鈥檛 you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she鈥檒l let it goo!
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)