Put jokes
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.
When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
"Stop being racist. You wouldn't put that for blacks."
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?
Putting the diaper back on.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put a sticker on their forehead saying "MADE FROM CHINA".
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"