Punishment jokes
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
Why do orphans start fights?
Because they don't get in trouble at home.
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.