Punchline jokes

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."

Why is 10 scared?

Because it is in the huddle of 9/11.

What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...

Stranger: Knock knock.

Person: Who's there?

Stranger: Sugma.

Person: Sugma who?

Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.

So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"

And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."

Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"

And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."

And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"

Villager: KNOCK KNOCK

Steve: Who's there?

Villager: I'm not talking anymore.

Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."

I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

Dark jokes are just like food.

Not everyone gets it.

What has two wings and an arrow?

The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Roger.

(Roger who?)

Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.

A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.

When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.

The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.

Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

Wanna hear a joke?

My life.