How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off
My favourite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
1+1=3 If you dont use a condom
I was riding a bike with no helmet I went and went with no helmet until.............I broke my head with no helmet on
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
*Enter password*
'ScoobyDoo'
"Password must contain special character"
'ScoobyDooFeaturingBatman'
I always keep anti fungal spray with me....coz I don't want to share my gf with anyone
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect it's balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen" So, I did what I had to do, and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day. Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a good year and ones a great year
Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval. I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah. Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.” My friend was the only one who laughed
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence
