Animal jokes jokes

What do you call a running chicken?

Scared.

I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.

Animal jokes, eh?

Toucan play at that game.

What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.

The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.

The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.

The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.

The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."

This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu.

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.

It was a shih tzu.

Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?

Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.