Priest's

Priest's jokes

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Suicide

  • A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.

    "What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.

    "There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

    The priest shakes his head.

    "Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.

    "Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."

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    Cock

  • One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

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  • Priest

  • When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.

    When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.

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    Priest

  • What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

    A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

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  • Wish

  • There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

    The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

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  • Priest

  • No one.

    Why are priests called father?

    I don’t know why.

    Because calling them daddy is too suspicious.

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    Priest

  • What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

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  • Priest

  • A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"

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    Wine

  • A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.

    These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."

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    Priest

  • What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

    Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.

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