President

President Jokes

Hair

You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.

Dime

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Brain

Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?

War

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”

Man

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

Joe Biden

Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.

He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.