Prank jokes
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
You are the joke.
"Spell ICUP."
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"