Poultry jokes
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Memes
Cock pic
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
What do you call a turkey when it is scared?
A chicken.