What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
Society
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
