Politics jokes
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
Why do leftists strive for a literate population?
So people can understand their wall of text memes.
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?
A. The Jello has a higher IQ.
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.