There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
