Politics Jokes

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is in hot water for importing $49 million worth of Tylenol that medical facilities couldn't even use.

I have a few suggestions about what she can do with all that Tylenol.

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?

They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

I heard Danielle Smith likes trains.

So I told her to go stand in front of one.

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?

A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.

Q: What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a flying piece of shit? A: One letter.

Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?

Because it had a Great Booty!

I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.

What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?

"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"

What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?

They both kidnap Canadian women!

ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.

What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?

The Jew World Order.

Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,

Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.