Players jokes
Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most?
GOALduck.
Player 138 eliminated...
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
Why can't orphans play rounders?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
MISSING!!
MISSING!!
Name: Ghostiano Penaldo
Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium
Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".
Last found - Practicing tap ins.
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.
Might be dangerous towards good players.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
Q: What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
A: One knows where home is.
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...
Odin Floyd.
What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"