Planet jokes

What do planets read?

Comet books.

What do planets use to download music?

Nep-tunes.

RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!

Richard: What????

Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."

Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.

Rick: Oh I will.

*It was the day March 21st*

*9 Days later*

*March 31st*

Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man

*one day later*

*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*

Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up

BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS

*Richard*

*oh he's the dumbass*

Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!

A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.

What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?

Uranus!

(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)

Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?

Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣

Oh hi guys. Oh, whoops, I didn't planet this way.

Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.

What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.

What planet is related to planet butts? Uranus.

Why didn't Neptune marry Saturn?

Because he knew he wasn't hot!

They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.

Latest news: a new planet has appeared close to Uranus.

What's the grossest mission NASA could do?

Probing Uranus.

Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!

Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.

What does NASA stand for?

Need a star A.S.A.P.!

My favorite planet is Saturn because it is tight next to Uranus.

Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?

Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.