Pick jokes
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me!
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.