Pick jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
Ooh! I know a joke!
(Papyrus) What is it?
(Sans) Knock knock!
(Papyrus) Uh... who's there?
(Sans) Sans
(Papyrus) Sans who?
(Sans) SANS IS LAZY!!!!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SOCKS BEFORE I SHOVE MY SPAGHETTI INTO YOUR MOUTH!
(Papyrus)
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
Is your name ooOOo? Because my name is lalala.
oOO laLA!
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me!
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
You dropped your toilet paper, right? You want to pick it up, but you can't because you have poop in your butt and it scwoshd! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"
Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"
"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."
"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.