Pet jokes

What kind of dogs do miners like best?

Golden retrievers, haha, get it?

Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.

Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.

He was a great πthon.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

Doc: Can I help you?

Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.

Doc: When did it begin?

Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).

Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...

Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.

Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?

Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.

Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?

There cheetah you.

Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.

Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.

Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

Why did the dog join the marching band?

Because he had his trum-bone.

I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

What did the squirrel say to the dog?

"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"

What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?

I love my dog, Sadie.

What is the difference between a human and a magic dog night?

Hi! I love my dog.