Pet jokes
I love my dog and all dogs.
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
What do dogs eat? Dog food.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?
There cheetah you.
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"