Person jokes

Frog

Why did the little boy cry?

He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.

Society

What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?

A clout chaser.

Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.

Language

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

Cannibal

Vegetarian: I prefer plants.

Herbivore: I just like food.

Cannibal: I'm a people person.

Memes

Dawn

Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.

Let's just say Dawn got very mad.

Blender

Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?

Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?

Rainbow

What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

Blind Person

Blind

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

Airplane

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

Rainbow

If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.

Boyfriend

What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?

Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)

Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!

Teacher

A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.

The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.

Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.

Superman

Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.

Hitler

When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.

Stuff

What does the depressed person say to the happy person?

"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."

Man

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. No body, nose.