Person jokes
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Hi, I'm cool.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
Jeffrey Epstein was a horrible person, but at least he killed Jeffrey Epstein.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)
You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.
I fucking love Triple H and Jimmy Wang Yang!
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."