Person jokes
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."
Cheesy Meme Of The Day!
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
I'm illegal.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
I'm dead! 😂💀💀
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.