What’s a German‘s favorite drink, orange jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
I found a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought 2.
🤔 💭 🙃 What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent? Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!!
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
97 percent of women.
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Yesterday on the school bus my freind infront of me said she was 41% irish and 15% Mexican then my freind siting next to me said “wow almost half leprechaun” then I said “yeah and 15 percent wall climber”
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
my cousinn called me ugly well im pritty shure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a kleanex
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed. Me: If your only counting me. 100%
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.
