People jokes
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Depression has a tight grip
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."