Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
