Penis jokes
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this š
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Penis penis penis hehe penis penis šš
What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!
School reminds me of a penis. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
Penis.
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).
As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.
Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.
He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"
Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."
St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.
"Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.
Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.
Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?
Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?
Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."
Nah, it's a penis.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Donāt worry, itās too long.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
Jacob has a small penis.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
What is the difference between a Rubikās cube and a penis? I donāt know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.