I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
Knock, knock. Who's there. My penis.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
Who likes penis?
My cousin!
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."
My cock, lmao.
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
Really bad penis joke.
What do you call a fruit's penis?
A percock.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.
