Paring jokes

Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he gets a hole in one!

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

What does a lesbian bring on the second date?

A U-Haul.