Paring jokes
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
