Parent jokes
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?
They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.
Ya mums, ya dad.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don't know what a full house is.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.