Parent jokes
The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: 😭
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
Oh no
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?