Parent jokes
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Parental guidance.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
Why did I get a divorce, you ask? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't get me a present and didn't even wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my co-workers didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" That moment, I felt so special. She then asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.