Parent jokes

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.

Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?

Orphan: ...

My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑

Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't have a closet to come out of.

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"

Mom: "He got inside a white van."

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?

A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?

A parent.

Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!

Orphan: *sits there sadly*

There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."

The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"

A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."