Parent jokes
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
My dad.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
My name is what orphans can never have.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.