Parent jokes
Why don’t orphans have parents?
'Cause they were abandoned.
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.
My dad.
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"
Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.
Memes
When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.
Why is the orphan so dumb?
Because he didn’t have parents to pay for it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
What is the similarity between Hitler and orphans?
They both don't have parents.
Why are orphans lonely?
Because they don't have parents to talk to.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.