Parademic jokes
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
What鈥檚 a nut鈥檚 favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that鈥檚 running late!
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Knock, knock.
Who鈥檚 there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Knock, knock. Who鈥檚 there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It鈥檚 a secret.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why couldn鈥檛 the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It鈥檚 a tough nut to crack.
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.