Parademic jokes
You pecan do it!
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.