What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt? It becomes a chestnut.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio? He became a shell of who he once was.
What sandwich spread makes people itch? Flea-nut butter.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project? Work came to a grinding halt.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party? “Nice spread!”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive? In a Jif.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line? “To be or nut to be.”
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess? A chess-nut.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall? A walnut.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise? He was paid peanuts.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer walnuts
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew? It was nut funny.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts? Michelle.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter nut tell you.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road? It went with the traffic jam.
Why did the nut go to the bank? To cashew its check.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet? It was afraid of the nutcracker.
