Parademic jokes
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
You pecan do it!
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.