Parademic jokes
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
You pecan do it!
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.