Parademic jokes
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."