Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
