Parademic jokes
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.
He was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city hall in French, and then on his way to be a good friend of the situation in the city, as he had been fixed in a few hours of the situation in which he was walking. I will never shiver at the sight [of] words.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
"Slow and steady wins the race."
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.
Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."
Panchatantra is a collection of Indian fables.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you!