I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
What happens to a nervous nut? It cracks.
What do you call super expensive shoes? Cashews.
Lettuce stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Which nut is worth the most? A cash-ew.
Roses are red shut up and go to bed
Ganesha is a elephant
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
A dog found a bone then he was walking happily across to street and he saw a bridge he dicided to walk on the bridge he saw his reflection and thought It was another dog then he barked at him and the bone fell in the river the dog said what a fool I have been and walked away
Who named their daughter Macadamia? A couple of nuts.
Which type of nut goes to outer space? An astro-nut.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt? It becomes a chestnut.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter nut tell you.
What sandwich spread makes people itch? Flea-nut butter.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party? “Nice spread!”
Parademic
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
