Parademic jokes
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Ganesha is an elephant.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.
"Roses are red, Shut up and go to bed!"
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Panchatantra is a collection of Indian fables.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.