Parademic

Parademic jokes

Horse

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

Appearance

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

Friend

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

Woman

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

Vegetable

"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.

Dog

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

Peanut

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!

Neck

Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.

Tortoise

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.