What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
you.
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
Roses are red, my blood is too. I see a lot when I lost you.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
