How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors fault like this: Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: yeah? Sailor 1: you see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: yeah. Sailor 1: you know what would be pretty funny
I would name my dog five miles so I could say I walk five miles every day but today I ran over five miles
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain
what's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
a frog in a blender
YOUR MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE ASKED FOR A WATER BED THEY PUT A BLAKET OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
what can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"it will be over soon"
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence
Udder destruction
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
Random person: "Just turn the page and start over." Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave ? Buy 1 get 1 free 😂😂😂😂
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
