Outing jokes
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"
These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.