Otherness Jokes

Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

Two muffins are in an oven.

One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"

The priest says, "Because I'm a father."

Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."

The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."

Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."

Y'all are so rude on here. If you don't like what I put on MY profile, you can click your rude ass off of my profile and look at some other fucking jokes. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING RUDE TO SAY ABOUT ME!

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, ā€œDo you consent to cookies?ā€ He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

6

What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?

Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.

How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?

Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.