Otherness jokes

A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."

  • 7

    • What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.

    Why did the pedophile cross the road?

    Because there was a school on the other side.

    China has a population of a billion people. One billion.

    That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

  • 5

    • I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

    I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.

    The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

    One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."

    The other said, "Really? I like my bed."

    The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

    There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.

    There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

    One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

    Where are the others?

    They're in his freezer.

    A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

    Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.

    Only one man came out alive.

    So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

    He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

  • 5

    • Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

    My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.