Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
Orphan Jokes
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
An orphan's parents.
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.
Imagine being an orphan. *kid beside me crying*
What's an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
