Orange

Orange jokes

Baby

What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?

A baby with flat armbands!

  • 0
  • Password

    31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".

    When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

    32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.

    "See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.

    The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."

    "How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.

    "Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.

    33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.

    “I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.

    “I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.

    “I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”

    34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.

    “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”

    “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

    35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.

    36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."

    Bark

    Riddles not jokes.

    What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

    What has bark but no bite?

    There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

    What has holes but can carry water?

    What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

    What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

    What can you catch but not throw?

    And last one:

    What can rule, but not command?

    Tell me the answers in the comments.

    Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

    One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.

    Rhyme

    My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"

    I said, "No, it doesn't!"

  • 0
  • Soda

    I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.

  • 0
  • Work

    Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

    Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!

    Orphan

    What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.

    Banana

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Banana.

    Banana who?

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Banana.

    Banana who?

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Orange.

    Orange who?

    Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!

    Takeout

    Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!

    Jupiter

    How Jupiter was discovered.

    Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.

    Middle

    Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?

    Please take this down, it's not funny at all!

    It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!