OR Jokes

Is it just me or are magnets really attractive?

if stephen hawking is diying where do i take him currys pc world or hospital

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What would fall out of a tree first? A depressed person or a feather?.

Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

Dad: School is cancelled, I think your teacher died or something Me: Wow they found the body already? Dad: :/

buy KFC or else

so I and my friend were talking this time, I asked them what they would do if they ever met rengoku they said that they would probably like shake his hand or sm but I said I would lick his forehead. wtf

Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile

What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?

A paintball

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee, his dad sees this and says "i saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies "i don't care, i don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says " i saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little johnny replies "I don't care, i don't like butter anyway." Both little johnny and his dad go in for dinner, johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. little johnny looks and smiles and says "do you want to tell her or should i?"

There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What do you think would fall to the ground first a emo kid or a leaf?

The leaf the rope would stop the emo kid

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans .Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂