I don't see why people these days choose their gender, there's only two it's nerf or nothing. (im just joking i honestly dont care)
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say go big or go home, and orphans only have one option
Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire
Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now
Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me
I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
why did the orphan cross the road (not to see his mom or dad)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl Beyond belief her name was Rayne but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily- wait no that’s not right Sammy actually snuck in Raynes house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
Or is she asking her son, “Do you know Newton?” The boy said, “No, I don’t know.” She said to him, “If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!!” The boy said, “Ok, do you know Ikhlod?” She said to him, “No, who is she?” He said to her, “If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her.” The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
If your going shopping at school what color would Iike to smell : True or False
My last relationship ended because my ex girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset, to be honest I didn't like her anyway, she kept telling me I never listen, or something like that
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife? Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
I respect woman’s choices....either she wants to cook first, then clean or is she wants to clean first the cook
What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!
