OR jokes

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.

There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.

So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."

Is Google a male or female?

Female because it doesn’t let you finish your sentences before making a suggestion.

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"

Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.

An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.

There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣

what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)

How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.