A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
OR Jokes
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Is Google a male or female?
Female because it doesn’t let you finish your sentences before making a suggestion.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
Why do orphans only have 363 days?
They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
