Online

Online jokes

Sex

  • I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

    Depression

  • Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.

    Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.

  • 2
  • Gay

  • Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

    Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?

  • 9
  • Shooting

  • After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

    They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

  • 0
  • Mobile Phone

  • Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

    A: He gave her a ring.

    Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

    A: Knead for Speed.

    Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

    A: He has a black belt.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?

    A: The glitterbug.

    Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

    A: Because they always make-up.

    Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

    A: In their flowerbed.

    Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?

    A: She was a flip-flop.

    Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

    A: A t-shirt.

    Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?

    A: A rainbow.

    Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

    A: The Dish-co.

    Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?

    A: Knight time.

    Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

    A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

    Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?

    A: A bun.

    Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?

    A: Hip hop.

    Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?

    A: Shop ‘til they hop.

    Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?

    A: She nailed it.

    Q: What is corn’s favorite music?

    A: Pop.

    Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

    A: It’s a weak day.

    Q: Why was the politician out of breath?

    A: He was running for office.

    Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?

    A: Goooooooooooold!

    Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?

    A: He was a cheetah.

    Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?

    A: Pennsylvania.

    Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?

    A: Inside.

    Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?

    A: He forgot his lawsuit.

    Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?

    A: He crashed the computer.

    Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?

    A: An eyeball.

    Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?

    A: Shells.

    Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?

    A: In the fall.

    Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?

    A: Because he knew he would pass.

    Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?

    A: Because it was flat.

    Q: Why didn’t the farmer's son study medicine?

    A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.

    Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?

    A: Pi.

    Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?

    Fortnite Card

  • GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!

    Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

    Self Harm

  • Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.

    Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.

    I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...

  • 3
  • Windows

  • Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?