On The Road jokes

How does Hellen Keller drive?

With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.

So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."

Why did the cat cross the road?

To make a catastrophy on the road.

What’s big and black on the road?

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

Floor on the road?

What did the pickle do on the road?

It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.

How did Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

Fresh roadkill.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer:

The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."

Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.

I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.

Wait, there aren't any road bumps.

O h s h i t.

What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.

Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.

Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.