OH jokes

Smell

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

Hair Gel

So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!

Plane Crash

What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"

Stanley Cup

What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"

Memes

Student

Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!

Student: Oh, did I miss anything?

Dad

Die you potato.

I baked you a pie.

Oh boy, which flavor?

Pie Pie Pie Pie.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi hungry, I'm dad.

Why did you name this way?

Why Why Why?

Chicken

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

Friend

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

Dad

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

Emo

Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"

Me: "No, it's an emo."

Everyone: "Oh."

Shit

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tortoise

The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."

Date

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

Orphan

Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.

Orphan

There was a kid sitting in a corner.

Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"

Orphan: "..."

Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."