Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?
They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
Say ocean 5 times and you say oh shit
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
Roses are red my c0ck is blue oh shit wtf happen to you
What do expression do you use when the toilet is clogged?
Oh Shit!
It’s a bird It’s a plane Oh shit it is a plane
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
Roses are red violets are blue oh shit I have nothing to say to you
When a cat gets a sibling do they say Oh shit another mew kid?!?!?!?!
pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT ITS GONNA BLOW
Roses are red my toaster too, oh shit I've burnt the house down what do now do I screw.
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
