Oh Shit Jokes

Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.

Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.

Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.

American ran to dive,slipped,and said, "oh shit".

Alfonsos mom is so fat. That she stepped on the scale and the doctor sayd “oh Shit thats my phone number!!!”

Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first think I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"

A man gets an email from his doctor

"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tommarrow"

The man thinks to himself "oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"

what similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her

there both thinking oh shit my moms going to kill me

I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "autistic child zone". Then I thought to myself Oh shit that wasn't a dog!

Say ocean 5 times and you say oh shit

I wonder if stephan hawking heard the song gangsters paradise oh shit he can't

Rose are red. Violet's are red. My parents bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire

when the quiet kid lost a game of basket ball and reaches in to his bag

other people in gym: oh shit this nigga bouta shot

It’s a bird It’s a plane Oh shit it is a plane

Roses are red my c0ck is blue oh shit wtf happen to you

What do expression do you use when the toilet is clogged?

Oh Shit!

You work at papa's pizzaria ok?

Boss: your fired! Me: ok? Worker: Why are you fired? Me: oh you wanna know... *shows him the oven with my pizza* Me: I left my pizza in the oven that bitch burnt as fuck!! Worker: OH SHIT!! Boss: did you say pizza? Me: i sure did! *shows boss pizza in oven* Me: this hoe black as fuck! Boss: i fired you because i count stop looking at your ass not this why?

tech administrator of a school: hm, a message from google security? tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT! assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME? tech administrator of a school: WEVE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE! assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! that's a good one, almost as good as the one with jack, jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right? head of school board: *whispers* yeah were fucked...

TWO HOURS LATER

important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!

AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER