Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
Objectification Jokes
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
Girls are like stones.
The flat ones get skipped.
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
Gun + Backpack = Fun!
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.
They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
