Objectification jokes

Why are girls and rocks so alike?

If they're flat, they get skipped.

"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."

You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.

I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.

I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.

What's the best part about a dead prostitute?

The second hour is free.

What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.

I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.

How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

A straw.

I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

Why are women like KFC?

After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.