What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
