Objectification jokes
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
What does a rock and a girl have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
What is the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
I like my women how I like my fridge. In the kitchen.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.